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Simple Steps To Ensuring Your Customers Continued Happiness Step 1. Ensure you are there at all times for the client. Whether it be 5am or 11pm, always be at their beck and call. Step 2. Don't worry if they are late paying - always tell them you don't mind. After all, who really needs money right? Step 3. When they ask for a free trial always say yes. Whenever I get a new gardener or cleaner I always ask that they do the first 3 months work for free before firing them and getting a new one. Step 4. When all goes wrong and the client is not happy, get down on your hands and knees, apologise and promise to do better next time. It's your fault after all that you couldn't sell his flippin product. Step 5. Suicide. If all else fails and your client refuses to smile. If nothing you can do will bring the corner of his lip to curl up and show his sparkly white miserable teeth at you. Kill yourself. Maybe then the miserable git will feel a little merrier.

Contributed by Matthew Franchise Anderson on February 28, 2008, at 11:12 PM UTC.

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This intel was contributed by Matthew Franchise Anderson Matthew Franchise Anderson

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